


Bracelets and Beads

by LMX



Series: Comment Fic [13]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Beads in Eliot Spencer's hair, spoilers for the end of season 2, toxic masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:24:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMX/pseuds/LMX
Summary: Eliot thinks (briefly) about cutting his hair after the Maltese Falcon job





	Bracelets and Beads

**Author's Note:**

> [Comment fic](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/286078.html?thread=53948542#t61582974), reposted from LJ

His daddy used ta say if you dressed hard you looked hard and you were hard. And no boy in the Army wanted to look anything less than hard. Wanted to be anything but the hardest motherfucker in town...

He'd travelled all over the world looking at beautiful things and meeting beautiful people, and he'd spent most of it trying to be the best, the hardest, the strongest; and all in a uniform and with a haircut that made him one in a crowd of identical men.

And fine, he'd managed to sleep with a lot of the beautiful people and he'd bought and stolen some of the beautiful things along the way, but he'd never been brave enough for this. Here though, with this team and in this place, he felt strangely... safe.

He starts out small. He's seen plenty of guys wearing leather jewellery, no one's gonna think any less of him for that, right? Hell, he doesn't think the team'll even notice. It's a little thing, braided leather round his wrist, it feels nice.

He feels obvious, out of place. He's sure every minute someone's gonna point out the jewellery and crack some kind of joke. He doesn't feel normal until he gets a chance to punch a guy; it doesn't even take him longer or anything... Not that he really believed what his daddy said, not really.

He waits a little while before he tries anything bigger, not that he isn't secure in himself, but... Well he's enjoying that first little taste of something new.

His hair's pretty long now, especially for Pakistan at that time of year. It's part of this... thing... he's got going on though, and he's reluctant to let it go. A woman offers to braid it for him when she notices how much he's suffering, and he takes her up on it. The cornrows feel strange at first, but then lots of strange things happened out there and that really was the least strange.

He takes the braids out when he gets back on home soil. It's such a relief to finally get to wash his hair properly and it takes weeks for the frizz to go away, but he leaves a couple - one on each side, deep in his hair - for the memories. They're kinda like jewellery and they're hidden from everyone else. Just for him.

He's got a collection of things, things that he looks at sometimes, things he's collected over the years. They're in a box in storage, and he manages to head back via his storage place on his way to Sophie's... Oh God, he knows this is gonna be hell before he gets anywhere close, but... He has missed her, and she's probably the only person who would get this.

He picks out a silver bracelet, dresses nice and doesn't think too long before pulling out a long sleeve shirt. Sophie would understand.

He puts the box in his car, though. Just in case.

He moves slow after that, but no one's even pointed it out yet. Just adding the occasional necklace, sometimes another bracelet. He's careful to suit the display to the con, and he revels in the occasional chance to show off.

It's Parker who first threads beads onto his two braids; she does it while he's sleeping off a concussion and he wakes with the imprint of the beads on his cheekbone. When he looks in the mirror he finds the beads match the bracelet and necklace he fell asleep on the couch wearing, and he wonders what Parker was thinking.

It's not too long after that when he's storming into a hotel room with Parker and Hardison and even with Sophie, missing for so long, but not with Nate.

Stupid mistakes, not paying enough attention, not being fast enough or smooth enough... he was weak. And he can't help but think...

He tears bracelets off over skin rubbed raw from plasti-cuffs, and breaks the chain on the necklace trying to get it off quickly. He uses scissors on the braids because just undoing them won't express his frustration, and he leaves it all in the hotel room.

He can be hard again. If this is all it takes... hell he doesn't even know why he started with all that shit in the first place. He's not the kind of guy that's ever gonna work on.

It takes a lot for Sophie to convince him not to cut his hair short that night, let alone to put jewellery on again. Takes him right back to square one, if he's honest.

But he knows he can do it now. And he can get that feeling back, when he's feeling brave enough.


End file.
